Harbinger
by liztits
Summary: When you're on the edge, teetering towards oblivion, you just need one little tug to pull you back to safety.


"Not new. Reborn."  
You're angry, furious, even, although you're not sure why Mossimo grabbing Bo would even make you so angry. Something clicks, in the back of your head, a memory, just out of reach. Protect Bo, it tells you, whispering. Keep her safe, even if she hates you now.  
You step forward, stretching out your new wings. It feels weird, a brand new appendage to control, so you flex, getting used to the feeling. Mossimo backs up but you keep moving forward.

"I am the Harbinger of Death." He backs up, eyes wide as you approach. You can't help but smile to yourself a little, you're so… powerful. "I arrive on wind's blessed air." He backs up more, but you continue to follow, watching as he falls to his knees. "Air you no longer deserve."  
"Please." He gasps out, falling further back. He chokes, clutching at his throat. There's a voice somewhere deep inside, telling you to stop, telling you that this is wrong, but you can't. It's like he said, you're bad, right? Evil. You're dark, and the dark, they maim and kill.

"Tamsin." She speaks, but you can't look at her, can't break your concentration. He tried to hurt her, he doesn't deserve to live. "Lil T?" Mossimo gasps on the floor as she turns, approaching you. "I know you wanna kill him, so do I, believe me, but he's not worth it." She takes a few more steps forward, your eyes dart up quickly before looking back at your target.  
"I kill." You flex your shoulders slightly, feel the air shift as your wings move. "I'm dark, remember?"  
"You don't have to." Why won't she just move, let you do what you were born to do. "You can be whoever you wanna be."  
"You're lying!" You finally snap, looking up at her as you yell. "You despise me."

She looks shocked, eyes flitting back to the scumbag gasping on the floor before she reaches out, moving toward you again. "You know what? You're right." You brow furrows, and you open your mouth to tell her to move but she continues to speak. "You and I, we've fought, in your past life. You weren't always my favourite, you rub me the wrong way, you can be a real close talker, but I never hated you." She's in front of you now, so close you can smell her, the shampoo she uses, her perfume. You want to fight back, to tell her to move, get away from you, you wanna tell her that you're a monster but something is rooting you to the spot. She reaches up, her hand caressing your face, running across the bony protrusions of your Valkyrie face. "In fact, I thought you were incredible."  
She leans forward, embracing you and suddenly everything is so clear. You don't move, don't hug her back because everything you've forgotten about her, everything you knew before, it comes rushing back, flooring you.

You remember when you met her, back when you were so sure of yourself, sure of who you were and who she was. The unaligned Succubus, the threat to the Fae. You were gonna take her down, make her pay for what she did. You were strong, and brave, and everything that you're not now, and she was the enemy. But you remember looking in her eyes for the first time, and you could see why everyone loved her. She was strong too. She was brave, and noble, and she saved lives and loved humans and you wanted so badly to hate her in that moment, but all you could think about was her eyes, and now they were so kind, so trusting.  
The next memory of her is fuzzy, like someone's tried to rub it out, but it is there, in pieces. You remember watching Dyson dance, trading poems with Bo. For a while, you felt normal. You felt loved even, and when Bo kissed you during spin the bottle, the butterflies in your stomach were definitely real. Afterwards, you pretended that you didn't remember, that it was all a blur, but the butterflies returned when she called you Tammy.

There are dozens of little things, leading up to Brazenwood. Little memories of just being with Bo, memories of saving Kenzi from the Kitsune. You remember Bo kissing you in the woods to feed, remember pretending that it was an inconvenience but some part of you was thrilled at the contact.  
Brazenwood was when it all changed though, you knew who she was, in the back of your mind. You know that you knew, that you were desperately clinging to the possibility that it was a different girl, that she was safe. When you kissed her, after she'd defeated that stupid looking cowboy to save yet another girl, it felt right. She felt right.  
When you left Laurens that night, and you saw the card, your heart nearly ripped in two.  
You fought so hard, to do the right thing, to let her live, but in the end your cowardice won out. You knew you were dying, but you weren't ready to go, to leave her, to leave your friends. So you fought it, you fought your conscious, collected the things you needed to hand her over to The Wanderer, to her father, and that shitbag that's lying before you now, cowering on the ground helped.  
You drank, trying to block out the thoughts you were having, tried to keep yourself away, distance yourself. Until you drank too much and wandered into her house, ruining everything you'd been working towards forgetting. You practically poured your heart out, and she could see how broken you were, the conflicted look on your face when you left. She always knew when something was wrong, even if you didn't.

You fought it right to end, and you very nearly did it. Nearly followed through with the job and took her away. You couldn't though, you couldn't bring yourself to hurt her, and the minute you came to terms with that, the minute you let yourself give up and finally stop fighting, this peace came over you. Everything that had been so loud, so hectic, went quiet, and you knew you'd die to protect her.  
For a minute, it was just you and her, and everything was perfect. You were alive, and she was alive, and she was so beautiful, so perfect, everything you'd told her she was.  
You did die to protect her, you knew if you survived he would find you, would torture you until you gave her up, and then you would've died anyway when you refused to talk. You were done for, the last thing you could do before you went over the edge was make sure she would be safe.

You shut your eyes tight, inhale deeply once, taking in everything about her.  
You understand now, why you'd had such a hard time remembering. You loved her, however much you'd tried to deny it, and all the shitty things that you'd done had come crashing down around you before you'd redeemed yourself.  
And Bo, she'd still stayed by you, when she knew what you'd done. She fought to free you, from The Wanderer, from yourself. She was still fighting now, arms wrapped around you, her steady heartbeat thumping against your own chest. She'd shown you compassion when you didn't deserve it, kept you safe when you were wounded. Even now, she's still watching over you. Trying to save your soul.

"That's what love feels like."

* * *

**YOOO this was hands down one of the gayest things I've ever written, but I'm super into Valkubus and I've just rewatched all of season 3 in a day and I had to WRITE. **  
**I hope that you liked this, and if you did I would love it if you left me a lil review and maybe a favourite? **  
**Thank you for reading! :D **


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